


When the Light Appears

by tiffersthenerdy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Artists, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anal Sex, Bottom Hinata Shouyou, Choking, Daddy Kink, Drawing, First Time Blow Jobs, Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma Friendship, His soul match, Humor, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou Friendship, Kuroo has met his match, Light Angst, M/M, Masochist Hinata Shouyou, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Praise Kink, Shouyou is Sneaky, Soulmates, Supportive Boyfriends For The Win, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Kuroo Tetsurou, Tsukishima's Lavender Wipes, Virgin Hinata Shouyou, but not for long, feelings are hard, its very brief, like really light, should not be triggering but i'm still warning anyways
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2020-10-17 14:09:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20622311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiffersthenerdy/pseuds/tiffersthenerdy
Summary: Wherever you, and only you, draw on yourself it will appear on your soulmate in the same place and will stay there until you wash it off. The only exceptions to the rule are numbers, letters, symbols, and pictures of yourself. They never show up on your soulmate.Kuroo and Hinata are both soulmates as well as art students at the same university. This is the story of their hit (and miss) meetings.





	1. Meet the Artists

**Author's Note:**

> When I read this chapter again I realized that it isn’t my usual writing style. It’ll become my usual style in a couple of chapters though. So have no fear. 
> 
> The title of the fic is from the poem 'When the Light Appears' by Allen Ginsberg. Check it out if you haven't read it, or just wait for chapter six because it will be recited in there.

***Kuroo***

Lines. Those things are what started his love for art. His eyes would follow every line in a picture, on a face, on a tree, literally everything. Every curve, twist, and turn would be noted and committed to memory until the stockpile of lines became too much to keep inside. With his pencil in hand, Tetsurou started putting the lines on paper, making pictures of things he could see. Then it became things he wanted to see, and things he would never see and could only dream about before he began drawing impossible realities.

The older Tetsurou grew, the more his skills did too. Colors flooded onto the galaxies he drew, and the forests were practically standing on the page by the time he finished shading and highlighting. Soon though, drawing wasn’t enough for him. Tetsurou picked up painting as if it was a natural born ability and the same could be said for pastels, pencils, watercolors, charcoal, chalk, anything that touched paper ultimately.

It was mixed media that lead him to sculpting, the one thing he could never get tired of and it was always a challenge in one way or another.

At eighteen, Tetsurou decided to make himself a canvas as well. Piercings adorn his right eyebrow, the left corner of his bottom lip, several in each ear, his nipples, and even lower. His arms are covered in sleeves of tattoos; koi fish, tribal bands, flower petals, wolves, and several other objects litter his skin beautifully. There is a black cat with hazel eyes on his left collarbone and a watercolor waterfall with a rainbow over it on his left shoulder blade.

Whispers of Tetsurou being a ‘bad boy’ got around his high school quickly after winter break, but he couldn’t bring himself to care because in three short months he would be on his way to art school. Nothing would stand in his way.

***Hinata***

The desire for art started at a young age for the excitable little redhead. Hinata’s mother took the time to tell him about soulmates. She told him when he became more grown up (he would later learn she meant puberty) then he, and only he, would be able to draw on his skin and the picture would appear on his soulmate, but numbers, symbols, letters, and pictures of himself wouldn’t show up. “The fates are tricky,” his mom had told him as she kissed his forehead.

From that point on, Shouyou became obsessed with drawing and painting, using anything that would put a mark on paper. He would make sure he could put the prettiest pictures on his soulmate’s skin when he was old enough.

One morning when Shouyou was eleven he woke up to a surprising sight. Sitting on the palm of his hand was a picture of a smiley face and a rising sun. He bolted out of bed to his mother in the kitchen, waving his hand in the air. After she inspected it, his mom said, “it looks like they are saying good morning.” Only then does she tell him that when his soulmate washes the picture off, it’ll disappear from his skin too.

Eight very long months passed by and each morning Shouyou got a greeting of some kind. When he turned twelve, he tried to send his own on the back of his hand. It was a bird on a branch with music notes floating up in a stream from its beak. He waited and waited for a reply, but none appeared during his shower or breakfast.

Hinata nearly crashed his bike on the way to school when he looked down and saw black lines snaking across his arm. Bike safely parked in the rack, he checked his arm again to find balloons and fireworks. Celebration.

For the first year and a half, Shouyou and his soulmate would talk every day through the bond, but eventually it happened less and less as life became busy. His soulmate seemed to never respond in high school, but every morning after his shower, Hinata would draw a sunrise on one wrist and a moon on the other before going to bed.

*******

The morning of Shouyou’s eighteenth birthday is a busy one as he gets ready for class. His roommate has already left for the day and Hinata has overslept. He puts on some clean shorts and a t-shirt, grabs his backpack, and runs out the door, stopping at a nearby vending machine for a muffin and juice box.

Everything is silent in the art history class with the exception of pencils scratching across paper as they write out a short story in Egyptian hieroglyphs. Hinata tells the story of a bird and a cat that love each other but can never be together simply because they are natural enemies though they never stop chasing after one another.

The cellphone in his pocket lights up, catching his attention. Checking the message quickly he sees it’s Kageyama wishing him a happy birthday. He forgot his own birthday! Shouyou types back a quick thank you and asks his best friend if he’d like to meet up for coffee after class. The reply message is a thumbs up and a cupcake.

Hieroglyphs finished, Hinata doodles in the margins of his notes until he realizes he hasn’t drawn his usual soulmate greeting. Picking up a pen he goes to set to work only to find a rising sun on his wrist but it’s frowning. Shouyou wants to be overjoyed at the soul art but he is kind of pissy that he rarely hears from the other person. Not even a simple smile.

Still, Hinata carefully draws out a birthday cake with eighteen candles on the back of his hand.

His soulmate’s reply is almost instant on his arm near the cake. Balloons, streamers, party hats, and a baby. Happy birthday baby. Oh god, his other half has never used a pet name before.

Coffee and cupcakes with Kageyama is a birthday tradition they’ve had since their first year of high school together. Kageyama’s coffee is truly milk with a splash of coffee and Shouyou’s is a cup of sugar flavored with coffee.

Unfortunately for the two of them, their meeting is cut short by Kageyama’s next class, but they promise to meet again for dinner. So, after a quick shower and a change of clothes, with art bag in tow, Hinata goes to the Art Park


	2. Studying in the Art Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title says it all. Mostly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter to set up chapter 3. There is also a preview of chapter 3 in the End Notes!

***Hinata***

The Art Park is a grassy courtyard in front of the Arts Building on campus where a majority of the art students, as well as some of the business students from the building next door, go to study and work on their pieces. There are plenty of large shady trees, a few gazebos, and an abundance of picnic tables.

One tree in particular tickles Shouyou’s fancy more than all the others. Maybe it’s because it is the closest to the buildings or the fact that no one ever seems to occupy the area. He is certain that its because there is only one table nearby so there is a lesser chance for distractions which Hinata easily falls into.

It’s the tree that Shouyou plops down and leans his back against, pulling his sketch pad from his messenger bag with his tin of charcoal pencils too. Two guys tossing a frisbee catch his attention so that’s where he starts with his drawings. Next, he moves on to the leaves that rustle above him, the same breeze ruffles his soft locks soothingly.

“Shouyou?” The voice is familiar, and it takes him a moment to snap back from his peaceful place.

Pulling his eyes away from nature, Hinata cocks his head to the side as he gazes at the male in front of him. “Kenma?” He receives a nod of confirmation. “Sorry, I almost didn’t recognize you with your clothes on.”

Kenma’s cheeks become rosy at the comment but before he can reply, another voice calls for him from behind the tree. “I’ll see you around Shouyou.” And like the wind, Kenma is gone.

Hinata sets an alarm on his phone for when he needs to leave to meet Kageyama for dinner and let’s his imagination run free. Penguins in bowties waddle across one page while frogs sumo wrestling clash on another. A barn surrounded by hay fields sits serenely on the crisp paper and the one after it has a couple walking together and holding hands in a park, both of them are smiling happily. It makes him think of his own soulmate and what they may be doing at the moment.

The phone in his pocket vibrates to let him know its time to go. Sketchbook tucked away safely in the messenger bag on his shoulder, Hinata walks around the tree to leave but pulls up short when he sees a guy, who’s back is to him, working on a small sculpture at the nearby table.

Extracting a pen from his bag, Shouyou sketches out the guy and his work on the palm of his hand just to give his soulmate something to look at before he skips on by to go eat dinner with his best friend.

***Kuroo***

The Art Park isn’t always the best place to sculpt things, especially on windy days, but the breeze is light, and the temperature is relatively cool for a June afternoon. There isn’t much noise around Tetsurou, so he allows all of the tension to slip out of his shoulders while he works to tie ribbons the branches of the trees he had molded and attached to the plywood base.

Black lines on his palm catch his attention and he wonders how long ago his other half had put them there. Kuroo’s blood runs cold and his stomach drops when he inspects the piece closer and finds that it’s himself in the drawing. He whips his head around to look behind him and is disappointed to find nobody there. Just his luck.

Does his soulmate know who he is? Do they know the two of them are destined to be together forever? How can he even let them know they were so close to each other?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Kuroo***  

> 
> Kenma owes him big time. Sure, he would be getting a little bit of cash for the gig, but he would be baring everything short of his soul. How could someone as shy and self-conscious as Kenma bring himself to do this? A rush of cool air makes its way up his robe, pulling his attention back to the present.
> 
> “Did you think of a pose?” The professor asks him. He goes over his idea with her and she seems excited about it, almost too excited. “Kenma just sits on the stool with his game system the entire time. A change of pace will be nice.” She leads Tetsurou from the office to the attached classroom where her students are slowly trickling in and silently setting up their art easels.
> 
> “Good afternoon,” the professor calls out, receiving greetings in return. “Due to scheduling conflicts, Kozume Kenma could not make it in to be our model today. In his place is Kuroo Tetsurou, so welcome him warmly and draw him well.”
> 
> A murmur of welcome comes from the students as Kuroo shrugs his robe open and off his shoulders, the material catching at his elbows.


	3. Alive on Paper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo is a nude model for Hinata's drawing class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to aim for updates on Sundays but I actually forgot yesterday was Sunday. Have no fear for an update is here!

***Kuroo***

Kenma owes him big time. Sure, he would be getting a little bit of cash for the gig, but he would be baring everything short of his soul. How could someone as shy and self-conscious as Kenma bring himself to do this? A rush of cool air makes its way up his robe, pulling his attention back to the present.

“Did you think of a pose?” The professor asks him. He goes over his idea with her and she seems excited about it, almost too excited. “Kenma just sits on the stool with his game system the entire time. A change of pace will be nice.” She leads Tetsurou from the office to the attached classroom where her students are slowly trickling in and silently setting up their art easels.

“Good afternoon,” the professor calls out, receiving greetings in return. “Due to scheduling conflicts, Kozume Kenma could not make it in to be our model today. In his place is Kuroo Tetsurou, so welcome him warmly and draw him well.”

A murmur of welcome comes from the students as Kuroo shrugs his robe open and off his shoulders, the material catching at his elbows. He puts on a poker face and keeps it trained as he slides onto the cold wooden table top, working hard to ignore the chill that seeps through the thin material that is pooling around him. Earbuds firmly in place, Tetsurou sits his phone beside him and lays on his back. He bends one knee, foot firmly on the table and the other leg stays straight. One arm rests under his head as a pillow, the other draped over his stomach, and he closes his eyes when the teacher tells the students to begin. Tetsurou can imagine the sounds of pencil scratching on paper, but all he really hears is the soft alternative rock music playing from his phone.

Thirty minutes later and it’s time for Tetsurou to switch poses which he does gladly. Flipping to his stomach, Kuroo crosses his ankles and uses both arms as a pillow. His face looks to the right and he wears a little smirk that is partially hidden by his shoulder.

The class resumes drawing and Tetsurou is pleasantly surprised by the face that appears from behind the easel he is looking towards. A fluff of red hair catches his eye first followed by honey brown eyes that sit behind a pair of oversized glasses. There are light freckles that cover the bridge of the boy’s nose and disperse over his cheeks. Just as quickly as the cutie was there, he is gone again but returns once more a minute later and this time those pale cheeks are shaded pink.

***Hinata***

The man laying on the table is ridiculously attractive. From the facial piercings to the sweater of tattoos he has, all the way down to the frenum piercing on his dick. If Hinata was any lesser of a man, he’d be drooling. As it stands though, the urge to draw the fine specimen of genetics before him wins out over everything else and so he sets to work.

When the model switches up positions, Shouyou is adding the finishing touches to his first sketch. Peeking around his pad of paper, he finds Kuroo smirking at him. Shouyou quickly disappears again in a panic. Face growing warm, Hinata steels himself to peek again, this time for a little longer.

Easing his face back around his easel, Shouyou ignores the growing smirk at him and instead focuses on the curves and angles of the body before him. The professionalism is brief as Hinata finds himself wondering how it would feel to slide his hand along the arch of Kuroo’s back and over that strong shoulder. Is that bicep as firm as it looks? Could he trace every tattoo on that rippling torso? Kuroo takes leg day seriously if those thighs are anything to measure by at all. What would it take for him to get that ass in his hands?

The loud ringing of the timer pulls Shouyou from his reverie and his professor’s voice coming from over his shoulder makes him jump.

“Hinata!” She says loudly. “This is the best piece I’ve seen from you yet. May our model see it?”

Shouyou takes in his work and can hardly believe he drew it. Every line is bold where it needs to be, and every shadow makes the highlights stand out starkly. It’s almost as if Kuroo is alive on his paper. All Shouyou can do is nod dumbly to his teacher.

“Kuroo, could I get you to come over here and take a look at this once your robe is on? I think you’ll be impressed,” she calls out to the model. Hinata can feel his cheeks igniting all over again.

***Kuroo***

Tetsurou isn’t really sure what he expects to see when he walks around the drawing easel, but this is not it. Seeing himself drawn in graphite is already strange but witnessing the work Little Red has done is like walking into the Twilight Zone.

Not one hair is out of place, every muscle is proportional, and each tattoo is recognizable. This guy is some kind of art monster. There isn’t one thing he can find to criticize, uh, what is his name?

Looking down at the smaller man, Kuroo can see his glasses are perched on the end of his nose and he’s chewing his bottom lip nervously. “You should sign this, and proudly might I add.”

“O-oh yeah, r-right,” he answers, picking up a pencil and leaning down to get eye level with Kuroo’s drawn nude body. Hinata Shouyou is what he writes out in scratchy calligraphy.

“That is very unique,” Tetsurou comments, pointing to the first ‘o’ in ‘Shouyou’. It is wearing a doodle of Hinata’s hair. “And cute.” With that, Tetsurou wanders off as quickly as is polite given the situation.

***Hinata***

“Kenma! I was sad you didn’t get to model for class today,” Shouyou calls out when he sees his friend leaning on the stair railing outside of the arts building.

Kenma looks up at him slowly. “Was Kuroo unsatisfying?”

The question catches Hinata off guard. “What?! I never said that. He was satisfying in every way, I just missed you is all. You aren’t as intimidating as Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome.”

Raising an eyebrow, Kenma smiles his all-knowing smile. “Is that so?”

Shouyou’s pocket lets out a short jingle and the redhead checks his phone quickly. “Oh man, I’m going to be late meeting up with Tobio. I’ll text you later Kenma.” And in a flash, the energetic male is off, running across the courtyard.

***Kuroo***

“You’re so mean Kenma,” Kuroo chides lightly.

“I was just letting Shouyou inflate your ego is all. Was it truly dishonest of me not to tell him you were standing behind him?” The blonde pulls his game system out of his pocket.

“He already boosted my ego with his art,” Kuroo answers back.

“So, you got an extra dose.”

“He called me tall, dark, and handsome.”

“Yeah, even with that spikey bedhead.”

“You wound me, Kenma.”


	4. Swing Set

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another drawing session, Kenma is all-knowing, and another hit-miss for the two soulmates.

***Hinata***

Something keeps gnawing at the edge of his conscience. Maybe it’s a new art project? Perhaps he forgot to do something important? He did forget to put on sunscreen today not that it matters though since he and Kenma are sitting in one of the Art Parks gazebos. No, this is something that has been bothering him for a few weeks now. Hazel eyes and black hair flicker to life in his mind’s eye and stopping his pencil mid sketch.

“Hey Kenma?”

“Hmm?”

“How long have you been friends with Kuroo?”

The question gets his friend’s attention more fully, enough so that he pauses his game. “We went to high school together. Why?”

Hinata debates on how to answer. “I can’t stop thinking about him for some reason. I want to approach him sometimes just to talk to him. He is so intriguing.” Shouyou cuts himself off as he blushes to the roots of his hair.

Kenma nods and then shrugs, “he’ll be modeling for your next live drawing class. Try talking to him then.”

“What’s he like? I mean, he is covered in tattoos and piercings like a stereotypical tough guy, but his demeanor isn’t?”

Unpausing the game, Kenma is silent for a moment. “Kuroo is the type of person who still likes to swing on the swing set at the park even though he’s in college.”

Though it’s an indirect answer it makes sense to Hinata. Pulling out his trusty pocket pen, Shouyou gets to work sketching out Kuroo swinging on the back of his hand. A small sun sets behind some shrubbery in the background. To finish it off, Hinata signs the bottom of the picture with an outline of his own hair like he does on all of his other pieces. _Don’t forget to sign it and with pride, might I add._

***Kuroo***

“Kenma, we have a serious situation.”

“Kuroo, don’t be dramatic. What is it?”

“My soulmate knows me, but I don’t know them!” Tetsurou waves the back of his hand around in front of Kenma’s face.

“I thought you didn’t really care about soulmates and everything that goes with it.”

“I used to not care, but I do now.”

The blonde catches Kuroo’s wrist with surprisingly quick reflexes so he can get a better look. Everything is silent for what seems like hours as Kenma’s eyes widen and his mouth drops open.

“I know, I was shocked too! And this isn’t the first time they’ve drawn me either! We go to school with my soulmate. Why haven’t they made it a point to tell me? We could be going on cute dates.”

“Cute dates?”

“Shut up, you know what I mean.”

“I do,” Kenma says, flashing an all-too familiar smile at Kuroo.

“What do you know that I don’t?” Tetsurou asks.

“You are going to meet your soulmate very soon.”

“How do you know that?” No answer. “Kenma, how do you know such a thing? You seem so sure. Kenma!”

***Hinata***

Thursday’s live drawing class arrives too quick for Hinata’s liking. He sets up his supplies, pulling out the best colored pencils he has in his possession and sits them next to his determination.

His professor re-introduces Kuroo who sits in a low-backed chair with his back to Hinata which is fine by the redhead who uses the opportunity as a warm up. Even from behind, Kuroo looks absolutely stunning. Several large tattoos take up the expanse of his back and he wonders how much it had cost to get that amount of work done. The man’s pain tolerance must be through the roof. Maybe to start a conversation with Kuroo he could ask if any of the art on his body is of his own design.

“Time up,” the professor calls out over the ringing of the timer. “Stretch for a couple of minutes Kuroo and then we’ll start again.” She starts her lap around the circle of easels to inspect the students’ works. Just as Shouyou thought she would, his professor stops at his easel for a bit longer than the rest. “Are we feeling adventurous Hinata? Is graphite no longer a challenge? You can’t erase colored pencil if you make a mistake.”

He can tell from Kuroo’s body language that he is listening to the exchange. Time to use his determination. “I won’t be making any mistakes today.”

The teacher raises her eyebrows. “Those are some big words. I hope you deliver on them.” Turning to the room at large she says, “resuming in thirty seconds.”

Kuroo drops the robe to his waist, turns to face Hinata’s direction and straddles the chair. He settles in and wears a smug smile on his lips.

Internally there are butterflies doing loops in Shouyou’s stomach. On the outside, he picks up his black pencil and flashes the model a cocky smirk as he pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose using the end of the drawing utensil. Shouyou disappears behind his easel to start his work again and it’s easy to let his mind wander as he does.

That black hair is artistically chaotic meaning Kuroo rolls out of bed and walks around with his bedhead as his hairstyle of choice. Hinata leans out for another peek. He can’t begin to imagine what it would be like to be so artistically inclined that even his hair had talent. The thought makes him snort and smile unexpectedly so he hides again.

Kuroo’s jawline is so sharp and defined that Shouyou is sure he could sharpen his pencils on it. Of course, that isn’t what he would use it for. No, that would be where he rested his palm as he kissed those soft red lips. Would they taste as good as they look?

Those arms, abs, and legs are all muscle and Hinata idly wonders how often Kuroo goes to the gym. Does gym time win out over styling hair time? It somewhat makes him self-conscious of his own lean frame, all metabolism and nothing more. Could he, no, would he pick Shouyou up with ease? Probably. If it’s a particularly windy day, the redhead almost has to put extra books in his backpack, so he doesn’t blow away.

Shouyou’s mind carries him away as he works, finishing his drawing just before the timer goes off. While he waits for his teacher, he signs his work and cleans his glasses.

“I can’t even be anything else except ecstatic that you delivered on your words,” she says with a smile when she reaches him. “You should show our model, he’ll be impressed I’m sure.” And like that, she is gone.

Hinata glances around his drawing pad to see Kuroo securing his robe. He looks over at Shouyou and offers him a gentle smile. “May I see?”

“Yes.” The answer is much too breathy but neither acknowledge it.

***Kuroo***

A long, low whistle slips past Tetsurou’s lips when he takes in Hinata’s latest piece. “You are an ever-evolving art monster.” Every aspect of the artwork is as flawless as it can get except for one thing. “Don’t forget your hair.” He points to the signature at the bottom. That shape is distinctly familiar, and it takes Tetsurou a few seconds to understand why. “You’re and I and Kenma was right. Wait until I tell him!”

Without a second thought, Tetsurou is running to change into his clothes and then down the two flights of stairs that lead him out the front doors.

“You were right!”

Kenma looks up from his phone. “About what?”

“I met my soulmate today! How did you know I would meet them so soon? Are you a psychic?”

“So, did you tell him?”

That question deflates every ounce of Tetsurou’s thrill because he very well DID NOT tell Hinata that they are soulmates. He’d rather die than admit it to Kenma though. “No, I, um, want Hinata to get to know me for me rather than just because we’re destined to be forever happy together. So, do me a solid and keep it hushed.”

“Whatever you say Kuroo.”

“Now, I’m off to rub it in Bokuto’s face that I found my soulmate first.”

***Hinata***

Shouyou shakes his head at his friend as he watches Kuroo’s retreating form. “I don’t know how he didn’t realize I was standing behind him. What gave it away?”

“Your swing set drawing was on him when I went to hangout with him the other day after we parted.”

“Should I tell him that I know?”

“Are you asking me that seriously?”

Hinata puffs his cheeks out indignantly. “Yes Kenma, I am asking you seriously.”

“No. Let him swing for a while.”


	5. Sketchbook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo attempts to catch Hinata's attention. Hinata has a plan of his own.

***Kuroo***

“Give me something, Kenma. Anything I can work with,” Kuroo says, nearly begging. “I want to win Hinata over.”

Kenma sighs but doesn’t look up from his game. “Talk to him. That’s how you’ll learn more about him.”

He knows his best friend is right. Tetsurou is nervous that he’ll blurt out their soulmate status or that Hinata will run away from him since the little cutie seems so timid. “I’ll give it a try. Tell me, at the least, where I can find him outside of class.”

“The tree by your favorite picnic table. Shouyou loves to sit there and draw.”

*****

Feet squishing through the wet grass, Tetsurou makes his way over to his picnic table with his sketchbook tucked under his arm and his favorite set of pens in his hand. Much to his surprise, Hinata is sitting at the table too. Long sleeves rolled up to the middle of his forearm, the redhead draws in his own book. Naturally, he wouldn’t sit in the wet grass since it rained a couple of hours earlier. Getting closer, Tetsurou notices the bench Hinata is sitting on is the only dry one.

Kuroo wants nothing more than to turn and leave but the thought of telling Kenma that he backed out pushes him onward. “May I sit next to you?”

Slowly, the redhead looks at him before a light blush covers his cheeks. “S-sure,” he answers, scooting over to make room.

“Thank you,” Tetsurou replies, sitting down and putting his supplies on the table. Sketchbook opened to a fresh page, Kuroo realizes he can’t think of anything to draw and the constant _dot, dot, dot_ noise from his bench neighbor nearly lulls him to sleep. Glancing over, Kuroo asks, “are you shading that entire thing with stippling?”

“Uh yeah?”

“That is devotion,” Tetsurou says with a small smile. “Also, your art style is phenomenal.”

The blush returns to Hinata’s face and spreads down his neck and to the tips of his ears. “That is so embarrassing.”

“And true.”

“Can I see some of your work?”

The question catches Kuroo by surprise but after a quick recovery he nods and opens his book to the first page. Ah yeah, he forgot about that one.

“A unicorn?” Hinata asks with amusement. “And drawn with crayon no less. Those lines are crisp, and that shading is on point.”

“Laugh it up all you want,” Tetsurou says, feeling awkward at his companion’s review of his kid-like art.

The bright and genuine smile he receives makes chills course down his spine. “I’m being serious though. Art is art, medium doesn’t matter.” The page is turned. “Whoa,” Hinata breathes out, his fingers trailing around the edges of the paper.

A feeling of shy pride begins to peak through Tetsurou’s cloud layer of nerves. “For the record, this one is not crayon.” As Hinata laughs, Kuroo feels his entire world shake with every note of the beautiful melody. When did he get in so deep? “You are so pretty, Hinata,” he blurts out suddenly. Smooth Kuroo, really charming.

The redhead looks at him sideways and says, “Shouyou.” He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “And how can you hold such an opinion of me? I mean, have you seen you? Your standards should be higher than little, nerdy me.”

“That is where you’re wrong,” Tetsurou replies, closing up his book and pens. Something about Hinata having such a low opinion of himself makes an ugly emotion bloom in his chest. “I get to decide my standards and honestly you are way above my league, but I want you anyways.” Kuroo stands, gathering his things into his arms. “I’ll see you around, Shouyou.”

***Hinata***

That entire conversation with Kuroo has given Shouyou a case of emotional whiplash. While the raven-haired man walks away, Hinata closes his drawing pad and rests his forehead on the cover of it. Where did it go wrong to the point of Kuroo checking out and leaving? Perhaps this soulmate business won’t be as simple as he had originally assumed it would be. His phone ringing pulls him from his thoughts. “Hello?”

“Hey Shouyou, will you be in on Friday afternoon? All of the other volunteers cancelled on me and I could use the help!” Yachi sounds close to hysterics.

“I’ll be in on Friday and I’ll see if I can bring an extra set of hands,” Hinata replies soothingly.

“Thank you so much! That helps me breathe easier! I owe you one, Shou.”

“Don’t worry about it. I am a volunteer after all.” Once they hang up, Shouyou begins to form a plan in his mind. Placing another call to put it into action, Hinata opens his sketchbook again and sets to work.

*****

“Class, welcome Kuroo Tetsurou back. He’ll be your model for this session.”

Shouyou watches his soulmate drop his robe and sit on Kenma’s favorite stool. He has one foot on the highest rung with both arms crossed on his knee. Kuroo puts his chin on his arms and smirks at Shouyou. Two can play that game.

“Did we forget our supplies today, Hinata?” His professor asks, eyeing the black pen on Shouyou’s easel.

“No ma’am.” He pulls his long sleeve shirt off in a way that he knows will give Kuroo a glimpse of the ink on his hips and his upper arms. “I’m challenging myself. Again.” Shouyou pulls his t-shirt back into place and pulls out his favorite Pokémon snapback hat which he turns backwards and puts on, tucking his curls under it.

At the sight of Kuroo’s raised eyebrow, Shouyou gives him a sweet smile, picking up his pen and chewing on the end of it until his teacher calls that it’s time to start. Hinata had spent all week attempting to recreate the technique that Kuroo used to draw the girl with galaxy hair in his sketchbook and though it isn’t exactly right, the style he is using is relatively close. His lines aren’t bold nor are they singular but instead layered together softly. Majority of the shading is down with hatching or cross-hatching and by the end of the first pose Shouyou is surprised by his handiwork.

*****

“It is definitely different,” Hinata’s professor says, tilting her head as she looks over his finished works. “I like it. Good on you to try new things.” She turns to the class. “Remember to turn your drawing pads in today so I can grade them. I have a box in my office for them.”

Part two of Shouyou’s plan is put into action as he puts his trusty pen in his pocket and closes up his school bag. He turns in his work first while everyone else packs up and Kuroo chats with the teacher. Leaving his normal sketchbook behind on a set of clothes that Kenma described to him before class and then heads out to meet his friend on the front steps.

“It is all going smoothly so far,” Shouyou tells the blonde. “Your turn.”

“Have a good day, Shou.”

***Kuroo***

Tetsurou figured Hinata was up to something when he didn’t stick around to chat and show off his work, but this is not what he was expecting. Fully dressed in his clothes, Kuroo leans against the railing across from Kenma and opens the sketchbook in his hands to the page that has his name on a sticky note.

On that page there is a drawing that makes Tetsurou snort and laugh. Shouyou is in a ballgown, leaning out the top window of a tower while Kuroo is standing at the base of it in a suit of armor, looking up at the other man. The bottom of the page has a note. _‘Come find me, Prince Charming.’_ There is an address, date, and time after it followed by another note. _‘Wear something you don’t mind getting dirty.’_

“Shouyou wants to meet with me tomorrow? Why?”

Kenma looks up at him and then back to his game. “Why do you think? And make sure you follow those instructions.”

“What in the hell will we be doing?”

“Making memories.”


	6. Is it Still Young Love if Our Souls Are Old?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo goes to the mystery address and gets a heart-warming, pleasant surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire chapter is told from Kuroo's POV. It's all fluffy.

Friday afternoon arrives and Kuroo finds himself standing outside of The Wheel. It’s a throw-your-own pottery shop a few blocks away from campus. He looks up at the shop sign and then down at himself. His body is clad in old faded jeans and a paint spattered band t-shirt while his messenger bag full of art supplies, including Hinata’s sketchbook, is slung across his torso.

With a deep breath, Tetsurou walks forward and pulls the door open. Once inside, it takes a few seconds for his eyes to adjust to the artificial lighting and when they do, Kuroo sees a class of about fifteen senior citizens working at pottery wheels. All of them are in various stages of progress but they all wear aprons and are covered in dust and mud.

It isn’t hard to spot Hinata who is sitting across from a lady, showing her how to mold out a vase. The redhead laughs at something she says and the joy it brings both of them just warms his heart.

“Can I help you?” A blonde girl asks nervously. Her nametag reads “Yachi”.

“Um, well, Hinata told me to be here?” It comes out as a question but Yachi lights up excitedly.

“Follow me please!” She leads him to the back of the shop. “You’re the extra pair of helping hands Shouyou was talking about. Of all the days our other volunteers could call and cancel on, it just had to be the class of dementia patients. You can hang your bag there, aprons are over on that hook, and you can make your nametag here.”

“Did you say dementia class? What exactly will I be doing?” Tetsurou asks as he ties an apron on himself.

“This class comes from a nearby nursing home that specializes in dementia care. You just go from person to person and ask if they need help and give them companionship. Most of them have no family or friends that visit so our presence is very much welcome usually,” Yachi explains softly.

“How long has Hinata volunteered here?”

“Four years. Ever since he started high school. He has only missed one Friday in that time because he was sick. Sometimes he pops in on Wednesday if he has the time and energy.”

Yachi takes him to the first row of pottery wheels, sitting him with a lady who insists she is called “Bee”. She has white hair and a potty mouth but sweetly asks Kuroo to help her shape her tea cup. Bee tells him about her love for game shows and gay romance novels. They playfully argue about which classic rock singers are the sexiest and it makes them giggle like school girls sharing secrets.

When Bee is confident in her ability to work on her tea cup and she gives one last inquiry as to whether or not Kuroo’s nipples are pierced, Tetsurou moves on to the next person. He hears about peoples’ plants, daily routines, war stories, and favorite foods. Most of them tell Kuroo that he reminds them of a grandson or nephew, lovingly tugging at his earrings to let him know why.

A man who introduces himself as Genki tells Kuroo that he looks like the embodiment of his favorite poem. When Tetsurou asks for the title to look it up, the old man shakes his head. “There is no need for that, I remember it word for word.” Clearing his throat, Genki begins reciting the poem in a steady cadence, never once stopping the work on his bowl.

_You'll bare your bones you'll grow you'll pray you'll only know_  
_When the light appears, boy, when the light appears_

_You'll sing & you'll love you'll praise blue heavens above_  
_When the light appears, boy, when the light appears_

_You'll whimper & you'll cry you'll get yourself sick and sigh_  
_You'll sleep & you'll dream you'll only know what you mean_  
_When the light appears, boy, when the light appears_

_You'll come & you'll go, you'll wander to and fro_  
_You'll go home in despair you'll wonder why'd you care_  
_You'll stammer & you'll lie you'll ask everybody why_  
_You'll cough and you'll pout you'll kick your toe with gout_  
_You'll jump you'll shout you'll knock your friends about_

_You'll bawl and you'll deny & announce your eyes are dry_  
_You'll roll and you'll rock you'll show your big hard cock_

_You'll love and you'll grieve & one day you'll come believe_  
_As you whistle & you smile the lord made you worthwhile_

_You'll preach and you'll glide on the pulpit in your pride_  
_Sneak & slide across the stage like a river in high tide_

_You'll come fast or come on slow just the same you'll never know_  
_When the light appears, boy, when the light appears_

“I think that’s my favorite poem too, at least now,” Tetsurou says, still impressed by Genki.

“It’s by Allen Ginsberg. Here is some old man wisdom for you, Kuroo. Don’t let fear hold you back from doing things in your life because you’ll live a life full of regrets if you do. I may not remember everything, but I do know that much at least.”

Finally, Tetsurou bumps into Hinata as the class wraps up and Genki’s words bounce around in his head. “Hey, Sleeping Beauty, can I give you a soulmate kiss now?”

Hinata blushes bright red as he attempts to stutter out an answer. A chorus of “awe” and “young love” come from the group of old people behind them. “Do you really want to?”

Tetsurou nods, biting his lip before he says, “I think that possibly maybe I’m falling for you.”

“Am I dreaming? Is this a fairy tale?”

“You tell me,” Tetsurou answers softly, pulling Hinata against him.

“Show me.”

When their lips touch, Tetsurou inhales sharply as every nerve ending in his body lights up and buzzes with excited energy. He tangles his fingers in Shouyou’s red locks as Hinata presses into him bodily. They melt together and only the cheering of the dementia class pulls them apart.

“Hey Yachi?” Kuroo asks as he hangs up his apron and slides his messenger bag on his shoulder. She looks at him curiously. “Can I come back next Friday?”

Tetsurou is kind of taken aback when Yachi hugs him around the middle but brushes it off easily when she says, “please come back any time you want to!”

Patting her head, Tetsurou assures her that he will do. Both he and Shouyou leave The Wheel together, hands clasped between them. “Where do we go now, Casanova?” Hinata asks, gazing up at Kuroo.

Smiling down at Shouyou, he answers, “on a date.”


	7. What a Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata and Kuroo go on their first date together.

***Kuroo***

“Now?”

“Now.”

“Like, right now?”

Tetsurou looks down at him studiously for a few seconds. “Do you not want to go on a date with me right now?”

“I do! I’m just surprised is all. We’re covered in dried clay and dust which isn’t exactly suitable for a date. At least I don’t think it is,” Shouyou says with a slight tremble in his voice.

“Are you nervous?”

“Kind of,” Shouyou admits as his shoulders sag with some relief.

Tetsurou smiles at him sweetly, taking his hand into his own and giving it a slight squeeze. “I know this small restaurant where the owners won’t care what we look like and they have the most delicious food ever. That’s our destination for this impromptu date.” Hinata returns his smile and holds his hand a little tighter.

They walk on in silence for a few more minutes until Tetsurou has them take a left, crossing the street to a shop that is rather inconspicuous. He holds the door open for Hinata who thanks him quietly with a little bow of his head as he passes by. Their eyes adjust to the dim lighting of the restaurant and Kuroo watches as Hinata takes in their surroundings. About ten small tables are crammed into the place, there are pictures of people on the walls as well as some different dishes of food, and standing behind the counter is the owner’s wife.

“Tetsu! Its about time you show up here again. Shame on you for being gone for too long,” she chides him. “I see you have brought a friend. And it looks like both of you have been hard at work. At least you’re staying busy, I guess.” The older lady walks around the counter and hugs Kuroo and then Hinata who’s brain seems to have gone offline.

“Hey grandma, I’m sorry its been a while. College has been keeping me busy. Let me introduce you to my soulmate, Hinata Shouyou,” Tetsurou announces proudly, his chest puffing out a little. “Shouyou, this is my grandmother, Natsume Emiko.”

“It’s so nice to meet you,” Hinata says with a polite bow.

“Same to you, young man. Why don’t both of you take a seat and I’ll get my husband. Decide on some food to eat while you’re at it, please,” Natsume directs firmly but with a sweet tone.

The boys do as they’re told, sitting next to a window, and picking up menus off of the table. “This place is a haven for college students,” Tetsurou remarks as his eyes scan over the options that he knows by heart at this point in his life. It’s really just a formality to make his date feel more at ease. “Also, sorry about my grandma, she doesn’t know what personal space is anymore.”

Shouyou’s cheeks turn pink as he replies, “that’s okay, she gives good hugs.”

Kuroo snorts at that. “She hugs most of the students that come in regularly, claiming that it helps relieve the stress they have. Maybe it does and maybe it doesn’t, but either way the students keep coming back and keep hugging.”

“What do you suggest for food here?” Hinata asks, still studying the menu.

“Go for any of the options that have fries and pair it with one of the salads and a slice of strawberry pie. Grandma makes the best strawberry pie. I mean, you can order whatever you want, but that is my suggestion,” Kuroo answers quickly.

Natsume returns with a man at her side and the couple is smiling brightly. “This is my husband, Hisaki.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Shouyou says, moving to stand and bow.

“No need to be so formal,” Hisaki interrupts, putting a hand on Hinata’s shoulder to sit him back in his seat. “We’ll be family soon enough. Now, tell me what you boys want to eat so we can get out of the way for a while.”

Hinata orders first and Tetsurou follows him, thanking his grandparents for their hospitality. They reiterate that it’s no problem and wink at him as they walk away.

“I am sorry about all of that. I didn’t think they would make it such a big deal,” Kuroo says with a nervous laugh as he fidgets with the straw in his cup.

“It really doesn’t bother me at all,” Shouyou assures him again before smiling mischievously, “we’ll be family soon enough anyways.” Tetsurou feels his cheeks heat up at the words. “Don’t you dare apologize for that one either.”

“Okay, okay, I won’t. Let’s change the topic though before I die of embarrassment.” Hinata nods in agreement. “What is your favorite type of art?”

“That’s an easy one. I love sculpting,” Kuroo says confidently, “it gives me a different type of challenge where drawing and painting doesn’t. And I’m going to assume that you love to draw. Is that assumption correct?”

“People,” Shouyou adds, “I love to draw people.”

“Why?”

For once he looks a little unsure. “I was going to say this may sound weird but since you’re an art person too then it may not. I like the way a human body curves and flexes. Not really in the feminine aspect of curves either more like,” Hinata chokes off his words and his cheek turn red as his eyes widen.

“Now you have to say it,” Kuroo states with a small laugh. “Nothing is too forward with me.”

“I like the way,” Shouyou pauses chewing on his lip for a moment and then continuing, “your waist dips down and then rises up meet your hip. And the way your biceps flex when you bend your arm. And your tattoos only serve to make you look even better than you already do.”

Yet again, Hinata makes him forget how to breathe. It isn’t necessarily the compliments that make him feel the way he does as much as it is knowing that Shouyou pays that close of attention. “You think in a really cool way.”

“Here we are boys,” Emiko says happily, sitting their food before them on the table. “Enjoy and let me know if you need anything else. She ruffles Shouyou’s hair and pinches Tetsurou’s cheek before walking away.

“Don’t you apologize,” Hinata warns with a giggle. “What made you want to start drawing?” He asks, waving a french fry around before dipping it into a puddle of ketchup.

“Lines. I love the way the lines of the things around me look and flow together,” Kuroo answers as he measures Hinata’s reaction.

Nodding, Shouyou replies, “that is a great reason to draw. You’re a natural.”

“What about you? Why do you draw?”

“Because of you. I never wanted to draw any bad art on our bodies.”

Tetsurou raises his eyebrows. “Our bodies?”

“Yeah, our bodies. Those pictures we draw on us are on both of us,” Hinata explains to him.

“I know how it works, Shouyou.” Kuroo snorts. “I just like the sound of it is all. Our bodies.”

“So, why all the tattoos?” Hinata asks next, taking a bite of his burger and looking at it with surprise. “This is way delicious. Like I’m not sure if I should eat it or put it in a hall of fame.”

That makes Tetsurou laugh, loud and unrestrained. “There will be more of those burgers, I promise, so eat it. As for tattoos, I like them. Its as simple as that. These are pieces of art that I love so much I got them put on my body. What about you? I’ve seen the ink on the back of your arms, your lower back, and your hips.”

“Talk about someone who pays close attention,” Shouyou mutters, eating another fry. “I have, uh well, I guess you could call it a full body tattoo even though its three separate pieces that I had connected to each other.”

“Do I get to know what they are, or do I have to wait until I see you naked?”

“I doubt you’ll want to see me naked. I’m nowhere near your level of attractive,” Shouyou mumbles.

“All the more reason to like you,” Kuroo states firmly with a soft smile. “I’d hate it if you looked like me.”

They finish their food and pay, much to Emiko’s dismay, and say their goodbyes to the couple. Of course, they don’t get to leave without departing hugs which Shouyou seems to enjoy. “Were you not hugged much as a kid?” Tetsurou asks as they resume their walk back towards campus.

“No, my mom worked a lot and I took care of Natsu while she was away. Natsu is my little sister, although she isn’t so little anymore. Anyways, there wasn’t a lot of physical affection in my household, but it never bothered me because I never knew what I was missing.”

“That’s great that you have a sibling, I’m an only child. Life was rather boring with it being just me.”

“I would honestly take raising my sister over being an only child any day of the week. She’s going to love you when she meets you.”

The thought of meeting Shouyou’s family hadn’t really crossed Tetsurou’s mind up until that point. And makes him giddy with excitement. “I can’t wait to meet them.”

They reach Shouyou’s dorm first. “Thank you for such a wonderful first date. I would definitely like to do it again.”

“We are going to go on many more dates,” Kuroo replies, holding out a slip of paper. “This is my phone number, please use it often.”

Hinata takes it with a laugh that sounds like sweet music to Tetsurou’s ear. “I will certainly use it every chance I get.”

“And one last thing,” Tetsurou adds, stepping closer to Shouyou, “thank you for being amazing.” He wraps his arms around his soulmate and squeezes slightly when he feels Hinata’s arms around him. “I’m so glad I finally met you.”


	8. Bring Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata and Kuroo get to *know* each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter comes from the song [Heaven by Julia Michaels](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5s7T6CDm8ak) which is what I listened to while writing it.
> 
> I wrote this chapter with character development in mind and my hope is that it's realistic and easy to relate to. A nice shout out to the some of the people (Shia LaBeef, carterjean, and Fiower) in my ShinDeku Month server who helped me out with some aspects of this chapter.

***Hinata***

“I told him I like the way his waist dips and then curves up to meet his hip. What person in their right mind does that?” Shouyou complains into his pillow, hoping Tsukishima is still listening to him.

“Apparently you, but you only have half a brain cell,” Tsukishima replies. Shouyou will never understand why his roommate is the way he is, but he doesn’t dwell on it either.

“I met his grandparents too. They are really nice and make amazing food.”

“So, now what? The sooner you figure that out, the faster you can stop whining and bothering me with your trivial issues.”

“A second date?”

“Exactly, now leave me alone.”

*****

Despite consistently waking up to good morning text messages from Kuroo, Shouyou still draws a smiling sun when he wakes up. Over the next few weeks he meets up with Kuroo at their picnic table and at The Wheel on Fridays. It seems like the blink of an eye when the end of the semester approaches.

**Soulmate <3:** Are you busy? 

**Hinata:** No. What’s up? 

**Soulmate <3:** Wanna keep me company in studio 3? 

**Hinata:** Be right there.

Studio 3 is where Shouyou finds Kuroo painting on a moderately large canvas. He is wearing a paint splattered shirt with the logo of Hinata’s favorite rapper on it as well as his usual ripped jeans. There is never a time that Shouyou sees Kuroo and it doesn’t take his breath away.

Leaning against the wall behind his soulmate, Shouyou says, “it makes me sad that you destroyed such a great shirt.”

“It’s just a shirt,” Tetsurou replies without taking his eyes off of the canvas. His hand is steady as he paints leaves onto one of the trees and Hinata observes his closely.

The way Kuroo’s muscles flex as he moves, the soothing sound of whatever song he’s humming that lulls Shouyou into a daydream, and the beautiful ink that covers his smooth skin. Hinata can’t help but wonder what it would feel like to have it under his fingers and lips; how it would be to worship Tetsurou’s body in the most intimate and sensual ways.

“Is that so?”

“Huh? What?” Hinata asks in reply, snapping back into himself.

“You were speaking your thoughts aloud again,” Kuroo supplies helpfully, sitting his brush down and turning towards Shouyou. “Is that really what you want?”

Face heating up, Hinata looks at the floor and rubs the back of his neck before answering. “Well, I mean, yeah. I’ve wanted to for a while.” He finally gets brave enough to look at Kuroo and finds him sitting on one of the metal folding chairs with his shirt off; it’s draped over the back and he is staring at Shouyou patiently.

“You set the pace for how fast and how far this goes. I’ve wanted you to touch me since I first saw you.”

Tetsurou’s voice is soft but deep and it eases Shouyou’s nerves enough that he finally walks over to his soulmate. After a moment of hesitation and a deep breath he places a hand gently yet firmly in the middle of Kuroo’s chest. Hinata notes that his skin is in fact silky smooth and very warm. A rapid heartbeat thumps against his palm and for the first time Shouyou realizes that his soulmate is at least excited and possibly nervous.

“Are you nervous or excited?” The question tumbles out before he can stop it.

“Both.”

“You’re nervcited.”

The made-up word makes Kuroo laugh and nod in agreement. Something about his ridiculously attractive soulmate being nervous because of him makes Shouyou a little braver than before.

Hinata glides his hand up to Tetsurou’s left shoulder and then his left bicep before he does the same on the right side. Pushing himself to be a little bolder, Hinata straddles Kuroo’s thighs and sits on them before leaning in to kiss the sensitive skin behind Kuroo’s ear and down his neck.

The hitched breath those actions cause relieve the rest of Shouyou’s nerves. He slides his hands back to Tetsurou’s chest where he tweaks the metal bars that pierce his nipples. It elicits a gasp and Kuroo grips the edges of the chair. Hinata slips his own shirt off, tossing it to the side and whispers, “touch me too, please.” And just as he ends the sentence there are rough hands on his waist as Kuroo pulls him in for a kiss so full of fire that the heat spreads throughout Hinata’s entire body. When Tetsurou grinds up against Shouyou, he grinds down, fueling the growing friction between them.

Only the sounds of their labored breathing can be heard in the room until Hinata pulls down the zipper of Kuroo’s jeans which is followed by the button being popped open.

“Is this what you really want?” Tetsurou murmurs into Hinata’s neck.

“I want all of you more than anything,” Shouyou replies.

“Right here? Right now?”

“Yes.”

It surprises him when Kuroo picks him up and shuffles over to the table in the corner. He is laid down easily and Kuroo makes short work of stripping him out of the rest of his clothes. Being bare to his soulmate’s eyes makes Shouyou feel self-conscious and he has to fight every instinct to cover himself.

“You look even better than I imagined you would,” Kuroo says as he gazes at Hinata through half lidded eyes. “Oh right, just a moment.” Tetsurou steps over to his bag and unearths a small bottle. At Shouyou’s quirked eyebrow he says, “I’ve, uh, been waiting for this and wanted to be prepared.” Hinata nods in understanding at his explanation. “Have you done this before?” Kuroo asks as he fits himself between Hinata’s open legs again.

“No,” he answers quietly, glancing everywhere except in Kuroo’s direction.

“I have so I can walk you through it, okay?”

That one sentence has Shouyou’s mind sprinting all over. _He’s done this before? How many times? Why didn’t he wait for me like I’ve been waiting for him? Did I put too much faith into the “soulmates” thing? Did I not matter to him? Should I have slept with someone else first? Is it too late to sleep with another person? Do I want to? How am I supposed to tell him how I feel? Do I want the answers to these questions?_

All of the worries gnaw at Hinata until he can’t hold it in anymore. Sitting up quickly he comes face to face with Kuroo who takes a surprised step backwards. “I can’t do this.” In no time flat Shouyou has himself dressed again and he bolts from studio 3 without another glance at his soulmate. There is no stopping until he is back in his dorm room where he throws himself facedown on his bed. Hot, salty tears burn as they fall to the blanket below and at some point, he is embraced by sleep.

*****

“Hey, wake up, Idiot,” a voice echoes in his ears and mind while someone shakes his shoulder. “Your other half is waiting out in the hall.” That makes Shouyou sit up and rub his eyes. “He says he won’t come in until you say it’s okay or tell him to leave. Personally, I want option two, but it’s your decision.” Tsukishima eyes him critically for a moment before walking to his side of the room and returning with a face wipe that smells of lavender. Hinata takes it and lightly cleans around his eyes and cheeks. “It truly kills me to ask and yet I’m only human and therefore curious. What happened?”

The last thing Shouyou wants to do is go into detail about what happened in the studio, so he aims for a different angle. “Tsukishima, you had sex with someone else before you found Yamaguchi, right?”

“I get it now,” Tsukishima replies as he sits beside Hinata. “A couple of people actually.”

“Why did you do it? Why not wait for Tadashi?”

“The same reason I’m here right now. I was curious.”

“Did Tadashi mind it?”

“I don’t think so,” Tsukishima answers slowly as he thinks it through. “If anything, he was relieved that one of us knew what we were doing. Obviously, you had some high hopes for you and What’s His Nuts out there when it came to sex and that is okay, but what are you going to do now? Say no to a physical relationship? Leave him?”

“No! I would never!” Shouyou starts to feel defensive of his relationship.

“Then figure it out,” Tsukishima remarks simply as he stands up. “Take it from me though, it’ll still be an entirely new experience for the both of you. Every person is different and so are their bodies. Both of you will have to learn about the other. Not to mention the fact that sex isn’t just physical. Feelings and sounds and pace and even location matter. Aside from the basic physicality of it all, even he might as well be a virgin with you.”

A long silence stretches between the roommates as Hinata processes the words. “How do I face him after I left him half naked in the art studio?”

“That won’t matter. He’s worried and it shows.”

“I should talk to you more, Tsukishima.”

‘You really shouldn’t’ is all Hinata hears before he is out the door and throwing his arms around Tetsurou and he mumbles muffled apologies into his shoulder.

“It’s okay,” Kuroo reassures, wrapping strong arms around him. “I’m just glad you’re alright.”

The sound of someone clearing their throat pulls the two apart and Hinata turns to see his roommate standing there. “As I was saying before you dashed out the door like a mad man, you really shouldn’t but if you want or need to then you know where to find me. I’m off to Tadashi’s for the night.” Tsukishima stiffly turns and walks away.

“He grows on you over time, kind of like a mushroom,” Shouyou comments with a small laugh.

“I can see how that would happen, but if you have mushrooms growing on you then you should see a doctor,” Kuroo jokes back.

“Would you like to come in so we can talk?” Hinata gestures to his dorm door as he asks the question.

“Certainly.”

For the first time ever, Hinata is thankful that Tsukishima forces him to clean up after himself so the room is presentable and smell slightly of clean linen and pine needles. Both men sit together on Hinata’s bed and Shouyou decides to start the conversation. “I, uh,” he pauses to blow out a big breath before pushing on, “got overwhelmed by my insecurities.”

“Is it because of what I said about me sleeping with other-,” Kuroo cuts himself off when Shouyou holds up a hand.

“At first yes, but I had a nice chat with Jerkishima, and I came to realize that it doesn’t matter. Your previous experience is just that, previous. This is about us and about now. I still want you, all of you.”

“You’re sure?” Hinata doesn’t blame Kuroo for double checking.

“Definitely.”

Tetsurou holds Hinata’s face as he kisses him sweetly, his thumb brushing across Shouyou’s freckled cheek.

Pulling away, Hinata strips Tetsurou out of his shirt before removing his own. He lays Kuroo back and kisses his way down tattooed skin, letting his tongue explore the valley of his abs as he goes. The rest of their clothes hit the floor and Shouyou takes his time studying his soulmate’s body. This time he not only sees it as a work of art but also as a source of comfort and pleasure.

“We’ll need this,” Hinata murmurs more to himself than Kuroo as he leans over and reaches into his bedside drawer, but Kuroo makes a sound of agreement as he sees the bottle in Hinata’s hand. “First though, I want to um,” he struggles to find the words that won’t make him die of embarrassment.

“Try whatever you want,” Tetsurou replies with a reassuring smile.

Shouyou nods, moving down between Kuroo’s legs. With one last glance at his soulmate, Hinata licks a stripe from Tetsurou’s balls to the head of his dick, teasing the metal ring there with his tongue. Seeing Kuroo toss his head back urges him on and he wraps his lips around the tip of Kuroo’s dick, sucking lightly to test the waters. The result is Tetsurou’s muscles spasming under his hands and he pushes on, slipping more of the length into his mouth.

_Both of you will have to learn about the other._ Despite the weirdness of having Tsukishima’s voice in his head, Hinata heeds his words and pays close attention to Tetsurou as he continues the blowjob. From what Shouyou has read, Kuroo’s dick fits in the category of a bit above average and girthy and he has to admit that having it in his mouth turns him on a lot. Kuroo’s dick is velvety smooth on his tongue as he bobs his head, testing out different paces and hollowing his cheeks. Sure, it’s probably lackluster compared to what Tetsurou has had before, but he’ll learn.

On a particularly deep dip down, Kuroo tenses up and lets out a choked moan. Pulling off, Hinata breathlessly asks, “what did I do right?”

“Deeper is tighter,” Kuroo rasps out. “Don’t push yourself though,” he rushes out as Hinata moves to start again. “You are doing just fine.”

“I just want to see how far down I can go. I’ll stop at the slightest discomfort.” Shouyou flashes his soulmate a small smirk before engulfing his length again. The descent is slow and steady and Shouyou keeps his gaze glued to Tetsurou’s the entire time. As his soulmate’s dick stretches his throat, Hinata revels in the way Kuroo’s eyes widen comically and when his nose nestles in the neatly trimmed black pubes, he can see Kuroo’s hips making aborted thrusting motions. A moan bubbles up from Shouyou’s chest and vibrates through his throat as he moves up and down again. The feeling of Kuroo’s dick in his throat has Hinata’s own hardening and leaking precum.

“No gag reflex. That’s not fair,” Tetsurou says, tangling his fingers in Hinata’s hair and pulling. Hinata pops off and breathes in deeply. “My turn,” Kuroo declares, guiding Hinata up so that he is on top of Kuroo, straddling his waist with his face nuzzled in the crook of his neck. “I’m going to make you feel so good,” he purrs, and it makes Shouyou shiver. A slick finger circles the rim of his asshole and teases at it until Kuroo eases it in. It feels weird and makes Hinata tense up. “Relax for me, Baby. I’ve got you,” Tetsurou says soothingly, kissing his shoulder.

“Easier said than done,” Shouyou mutters as he tries to relax. Something so simple takes almost all of his concentration which makes him miss a majority of the pleasure he could be experiencing as Kuroo works one finger in and out of him then adding a second.

Slowly he stops forcing himself to relax and just rests on his soulmate as he gets fingered open. The third finger stings and Hinata draws in a small hissing breath. He hates to admit it but he kind of likes the pain; it makes his dick twitch with anticipation.

“Are you ready, Shou?”

“You’re the one with fingers in me. Am I ready?” Hinata looks up to see his soulmate staring blankly at him. “What?”

“That’s the dirtiest thing you’ve said so far. And yes, physically you are prepared. Are you ready?”

“I’m ready.”

Kuroo switches their positions, laying Shouyou on his back and getting between his legs. For Shouyou, watching Kuroo deftly slick himself up is a rather exciting and alluring show. “We’ll take this nice and slow,” Tetsurou breathes against his lips when he lays over Hinata. Reflexively Shouyou wraps his legs around Kuroo’s waist and that gets him a deep hum of approval as his soulmate gives him a deep kiss.

Feeling the head of Tetsurou’s dick press against his hole has Hinata tensing up, but he reminds himself to chill out and Kuroo continues pushing in. It stings as he’s stretched even more and there is a delightful pressure deeper in him and if it feels this good at just the start then he can’t wait for more.

“Faster,” Shouyou whines hoarsely as his need grows and demands more of Kuroo.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Tetsurou replies as he brushes Hinata’s bangs off his sweaty forehead.

“The pain feels good though. I could almost get off to it,” he admits shamelessly.

Kuroo seems startled briefly before smiling coyly. “So, my baby is a masochist hmm? Let’s find out.” Shouyou is sure he is tearing into two when Tetsurou shoves his dick all the way to the base; it burns and the pain causes him to arch his back, his mouth open to let out a pleasured yell that is choked off as his lungs stop working.

Taking a shuddering breath in, Hinata blinks away the tears blurring his vision to look up at his soulmate. “More, please, I need more.” Everything about the situation is experienced through a haze of lust. Like the way Kuroo rolls his hips into Shouyou’s ass and how it feels to kiss him, their tongues exploring each other’s mouths as Hinata digs his nails into Kuroo’s shoulders. Each thrust from his soulmate takes Shouyou a step closer to heaven.

“Can we switch positions?” Tetsurou asks between kisses. Wanting to try everything, Hinata nods enthusiastically. “Elbows and knees,” Kuroo directs as he pulls out. An emptiness Shouyou has never known takes over so he scrambles into position with his back arched and ass in the air. “Holy shit, Shouyou,” Tetsurou says and for a moment Hinata’s nerves return until he feels fingers tracing lines on his back.

“Do you like them?” Shouyou knows his soulmate is marveling the tattoos on his back. Black wings span from his shoulders down to the top of his ass and then wrap around to his ribs and hips. Every feather is tipped with gold and each vertebrae of his spine is outlined with black ink and shaded with the same gold.

“Just when I thought you couldn’t be anymore beautiful you prove me wrong,” Kuroo answers. Soft lips kiss up his spine as slender fingers grasp his hips and then Kuroo is inside him again, thrusting lazily until his entire body convulses. “There it is,” Tetsurou comments, rubbing against that place again. It sends waves of pleasure coursing through every nerve in Hinata’s body.

“Tetsu, please,” Shouyou begs, “please fuck me. I want to cum with you. I’ve been so good, please.”

“Hands and knees, Baby Boy,” Kuroo growls to him and Hinata follows the directive quickly. The feeling of Kuroo’s hand around his throat shoots a thrill through Shouyou that amplifies when Kuroo’s other hand starts jerking him off. “You really have been such a good boy.” The praise has Hinata moaning which is cut off as Kuroo tightens the grip on his throat. The hold lessens just as the edges of Shouyou’s vision turn black and he takes in a few gulps of air. Tetsurou drops the hand from Hinata’s throat to his hip and Shouyou wants to complain, but the way Kuroo starts pounding into him makes it impossible.

Shouyou takes over stroking himself while his soulmate fucks into him with reckless abandon. The sounds of their dirty dance fill the small room and are only interrupted by Shouyou’s moans and Kuroo’s grunts of exertion. A wave of pure ecstasy grows rapidly in Hinata and he finds himself shouting, “fucking wreck me, Daddy!” He comes hard, his body tensing and his legs trembling as Kuroo fucks him through it, brushing that good place in him over and over again.

Kuroo stills and Shouyou feels his soulmate filling him with his release as his thick dick twitches and throbs deep inside of him. If Hinata wasn’t spent, he probably would’ve orgasmed again just from those feelings alone.

That emptiness returns when Tetsurou pulls out of him again and Hinata makes a noise of complaint in his throat. “Shh, let me find a towel to clean you up and then I’ll hold you,” Kuroo soothes as he stands up and looks around.

“There are lavender wipes over on the desk,” Hinata states tiredly.

Clean up complete, Kuroo cuddles Shouyou under the blankets and they exchange little kisses until Kuroo says, “you have some fun kinks.”

“Oh god,” Shouyou groans, burying his face in his soulmate’s chest to hide his embarrassment.

“Being a god would be cool and all, but I like being your daddy more,” Tetsurou says while tucking strands of hair behind Hinata’s ear. “It’s okay to like those things and its especially okay since I like them too.”

“Really?” Hinata peeks up at Tetsurou from his hiding place.

“Most definitely.”

Kuroo leaves later that night after helping Shouyou to the shower and then tucking him into bed. Shouyou is sad to see him go but he is also thankful for sleep.

“Hinata, wake up!” He opens his eyes to see Tsukishima squinting at him accusingly. “Why are my lavender wipes on your dresser?” Rather than answering, Shouyou pulls the blanket up over his head. “Did you have fun?”

“We had a great fucking time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all know that the true star of this chapter is Tsukishima's lavender wipes. They came in clutch when Hinata needed them most xD


	9. The Cat and the Bird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata lets his worries eat at him until he can no longer hold back. Kuroo tells Hinata about his worries too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to post this during Hinata Rarepair Week but my fiance is a dick who threw a tantrum because "I write too much and don't give him enough attention". *Shrug*

****

*Shouyou*

Shouyou was only ever a little annoyed that Kuroo didn’t always communicate with him through pictures as they grew up. It’s not like he didn’t understand the ways in which life could get busy, making other things shrink in importance for a time. Some things are gnawing at him though so he turns to Tsukishima in hopes that the irritable guy will tell him how ridiculous he is being.

“Is it valid for me to feel negatively about Kuroo not drawing to me because he was dating and sleeping with people?”

“No.”

“What about being annoyed that I didn’t even make the top five on his list of important things back then?”

“Also, no.”

Shouyou glances from the ceiling above his bed over to Tsukishima who still has his nose in his book. “Do I have a right to be jealous of his stupidly sexy smirk?”

“Once more, no.”

“Are you even listening to me or are you just saying no?”

Finally, Tsukishima sits his book on his lap and glares at Shouyou. “Yes, I’m listening to you whine. As much as you had wished for it, you weren’t Kuroo’s world as you both grew up and you still aren’t his world. How do you know that you weren’t in the top five on his important list or if he even _has_ a list? And though you don’t have a _right_ to be jealous of his smirk, you have the _ability_ and you should use it. Now, why don’t you ask him this stuff instead of me? I think you’ll get more accomplished that way.”

“What if he thinks I’m stupid? Or annoying? What if he leaves me?” Shouyou blurts out as his eyes begin to sting with hot tears threatening to build up and spill over.

“So, that’s the root of the problem,” Tsukishima says in understanding. “Do you think he is going to leave you?” All Shouyou does is shrug. “Why do you think that?”

“There are better people than me out there. Better, prettier people. Kuroo is just settling for me and eventually he’ll come to see that and leave me.” The tears fall as Shouyou sits up and holds his head in his hands.

“Kuroo is your soulmate, he isn’t settling. You are both literally made for each other,” Tsukishima tells him, tone a bit less harsh.

“You said it yourself, I put too much stock into the soulmate stuff,” Shouyou whispers to the blanket on his legs.

“I didn’t say it was bad or wrong to do that. It’s just that life isn’t a romantic fanfiction, but even so, that doesn’t mean you can’t have a happy ending.”

“What do I do now?” Shouyou looks up at his roommate.

“Talk to him, but if you can’t bring yourself to face him then draw to him.”

“Tsukishima, have I told you that you’re a genius? If not, you’re a genius.”

****

*Kuroo*

Tetsurou has seen plenty of drawings appear on his body from Hinata, but never like this. Hieroglyphs span across his arms and thighs, row after row of small pictures and Hinata even manages to dodge most of the tattoos on his arms. At the very end on his right thigh, there is a picture of Hinata’s hair. While he can understand some basic hieroglyphs, he knows he is going to need some help so he calls up a friend who can read them well and then heads out to their dorm.

“Whoa,” Bokuto says when he takes in the sight of Kuroo’s exposed skin. “You weren’t lying. I’ll be able to translate it, but it may take a bit of time.” He ushers Tetsurou into the room, sitting him at the desk as he gathers a notebook, pencil, and his glasses.

Overall, it takes about an hour and a half to get the translation finished and Tetsurou can only wonder what Shouyou is doing during that time. “What does it say?”

“It’s a story,” Bokuto answers, handing the notepad to him. “It’s paraphrased but correct.”

_There was once a cat and a bird who were destined by fate to be together. It seemed as if they would never meet with the bird flying high and the cat having no wings._

_Despite flying high, the bird believed itself to be lower in every way compared to the majestic cat. The cat knew of the bird, but things on the ground were busier and more dangerous than in the sky so it simply let the bird do as it pleased._

_Still, the bird chased after the cat with hope in its heart and one day it landed on a branch where the cat was sitting. Communication between the two of them was difficult because of the bird. It was jittery and anxious as it looked at the calm, confident cat. Even as they continued to meet on branches and learn about their fated other half, the bird still felt insignificant. While it always hoped the cat would be there each day, part of the bird expected the cat to stop showing up, realizing there were other, prettier animals than just it._

_That worry grew and grew until the bird could no longer contain it, but it was unsure how to tell the cat. So, one day the bird took to the ground and drew a message in the soft dirt just below their usual branch, leaving a feather as its signature. Perching higher above the meeting spot, it patiently waits for the cat to read the message._

Tetsurou reads over the story two more times before looking at Bokuto. “Is this saying the things I think it's saying?”

“I believe so.”

Fishing his phone from his pocket, Tetsurou sends Hinata a text asking if he’s busy. The reply is no. _‘Meet me in your dorm showers in 30 minutes. Bring things for a shower.’_

****

*

As he requested, Hinata is waiting in the dorm showers with towels and supplies when he shows up. Pulling his soulmate close, he kisses him breathless before starting one of the showers. First, he undresses Hinata and then himself, taking them both into the stream of hot water and closing the curtain.

Soapy washcloth in hand, Kuroo gently begins scrubbing the ink on Hinata’s arms. “I won’t say your insecurities are moot, but they are.” Chancing a glance at Shouyou’s face he can see his bottom lip stuck out in a pout. “A month ago, you were stressing about the fact that I had sex with other people. Did your concerns run deeper than that?” Shouyou won’t look at him as he nods. “Do you want to talk about them?” The answer is no.

There is no rush as Tetsurou cleans the story from Hinata’s body slowly and most of the arms are done in silence. “I never forgot about you.”

“What?” It’s a relief to hear his soulmate say something.

“When I went to high school, I mean. Yeah, I practically abandoned you, I dated and slept with other people, and I pushed you aside. I’m not going to say I did those things to become a better man for you because I didn’t. Some people live their entire lives without ever finding their soulmate and some fall in love with someone who isn’t their soulmate. Those things are okay, there is no law saying it must be your fated partner. You were more hopeful than me.”

Pausing to put more soap on the cloth, Tetsurou looks up to see Hinata staring at the wall as he chews on his lip and he doesn’t miss the tears on his cheeks or the way his hands are trembling.

“That isn’t a bad thing by any means,” Tetsurou begins again as he moves on to Hinata’s thighs. “It just means you are open to getting hurt more.” As the ink is washed away, Tetsurou becomes aware of details he had previously missed when there were no clothes between them, namely the thin white scars that stretch across Hinata’s already pale skin. It’s a subject he’ll save for a later discussion.

“Every morning and night I looked forward to your pictures even though I never responded. I waited for the day they wouldn’t show up, but it never came. I’m a selfish man, Hinata, in case you didn’t already know. That doesn’t mean I don’t care though. Let’s not forget I’m also confident, cocky, and straightforward.”

There is a slight upward tug at the corner of Hinata’s mouth. “You think that I’m too good for you and that I’ll leave you for someone that you consider to be better than you, but I feel that way too. Shouyou, you’re everything I’m not; selfless, humble, and understanding. When I wake up these days, I work to be more like you. Every. Single. Day. Out of the two of us, you are the better man.”

Thighs freed of the hieroglyphs, Tetsurou stands and takes Hinata’s chin in his fingers. “How many of those are because of me?”

“Only a few, but they aren’t really your fault. There was no way for you to know and I could’ve gotten help, but I didn’t.” The words are spoken strong and sure. “I held you, a complete stranger, to a standard that I had no business holding you to so that is on me.” Only then does Hinata meet his gaze.

“There aren’t many things I regret, but I regret pushing you aside. To think that I missed out on so much happiness,” Tetsurou tells him warmly. “I won’t make that mistake twice. You worry that I’m going to leave you, but I don’t look at other people. You are captivating and I can’t look away nor do I want to, I’m here until you leave me.”

****

*Shouyou*

Listening to Kuroo speak his thoughts and feelings leaves Shouyou feeling just as raw and exposed. Seeing how his soulmate stares at him as if he is the center of the universe makes him shiver.

“Get settled in then because you aren’t going anywhere,” Shouyou tells him with a soft smile.

Kuroo glides his thumb over Shouyou’s bottom lip and whispers, “so good, so beautiful.”

“Kiss me already,” Shouyou demands.

The kiss they share is brimming with emotions that they either resolve or amplify between them. Once the water runs cold, they wrap up in towels and go back to Shouyou’s dorm which is thankfully empty. Both men dry off and curl up under Shouyou’s comforter where they keep sharing kisses.

“Two other things,” Kuroo says, kissing Shouyou’s nose, “you can talk to me about anything, but if you find it to be overwhelming then maybe stick to a letter. I adore your art and all, but that was a lot. Also, if you feel the need to hurt yourself, call me. It doesn’t matter what time it is; I’ll be here to remind you of all the good things and of your self-worth. You mean everything to me, and I’ll do all I can to protect you.”

“Deal,” Shouyou says quietly as he traces Kuroo’s collarbone. “I’ve been meaning to ask you something. How do you feel about meeting my mom and sister?”


	10. Running in Circles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shouyou overhears a conversation that makes him upset and causes a chain reaction with a surprising solution.
> 
> ** *TW: Panic Attacks, Mentions of Self-Harm, Scars, Talks of Mental Illness.* **
> 
> Note: Oikawa and Tobio are best bois.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh, this has been sitting in my WIPs for months and I have no idea why I haven't posted it other than I forgot. Sorry!

***Hinata***

“Does he know yet?”

“About what?”

“About us, of course, that we knew each other before the two of you met and that we knew each other during high school?”

Shouyou keeps his eyes shut and breathing even as he listens to the exchange between Kuroo and Tsukishima. Despite his blood running cold and the adrenaline coursing through his veins he stays still as if he’s asleep.

“It doesn’t really matter, Shouyou is right when he says the past doesn’t matter.” Shouyou feels a small sense of pride at the words his soulmate says.

“That’s true but we’re still technically lying to him. As if that isn’t enough, he comes to me for advice about the relationship between you two. I’ve held off on telling him because he isn’t mentally stable enough to understand it’s not a big deal, but it isn’t fair to withhold this information from him.”

Everything in Shouyou shatters at his roommate’s words; his chest tightens, and his eyes burn with unshed tears.

“Fine, Tsukki, I’ll tell him later when he wakes up. Until then I’m going to the bathroom.”

The weight next to Shouyou moves and after some shuffling the door to the dorm opens and softly closes. After counting to ten Shouyou sits up and blinks away the tears and sleep. Swinging his feet off the bed, Shouyou is quick to put his slippers on and grab his keys, wallet, and phone.

“Where are you going in a hurry?” Tsukishima asks him with his usual smirk.

“I’ve been awake, and I heard the whole conversation between the two of you,” Shouyou tells him between gasps for air as tears finally fall down his cheeks. He knows it’s only a short matter of time before the panic attack takes over completely and renders him practically helpless. Tsukishima’s smirk disappears as his eyes widen. “Both of you can go to hell.”

With that sentiment hanging in the air, Shouyou bolts out of the dorm room as fast as his slipper-clad feet will take him. At the elevator he mashes the button for floor six and tries to calm his breathing. Elevator dinging open he throws himself into the hallway and makes for room 608 where he knocks furiously on the door.

“Oh hey- whoa,” Oikawa tells him, stepping back to let Shouyou in. “Tobio, it’s for you.”

With the knowledge that he’s fully safe, Shouyou collapses against the side of his best friend’s bed and sobs as his body trembles and it becomes harder to breathe. He clutches at his chest and rasps out Tobio’s name, looking up at him with fear. “Panic, help.”

Everything is hazy after that, colors too vivid and noises too loud, but he works to focus on the strong arms around him which pull him onto the bed. “Breathe with me, Shou.” A hand is on his chest rubbing firm circles and he can feel Tobio’s chest rise and fall against his back. “You can do it, you’re strong enough to fight through it. Breathe with me.” The deep, calm, and familiar voice helps to shut out the other chaotic voices in his head that keep telling him he’s going to die, and no one will ever love him. Every muscle in his body starts to spasm and he grabs handfuls of the shorts he’s wearing to try and ground himself. When that doesn’t work, he goes to his coping mechanism and scratches his nails up his thighs over and over until Tobio catches his wrists.

Shouyou’s first few attempts at breathing with Tobio are shaky at best, but the hums of approval from his best friend pushes him on to try again and again until they are even. The spasms stop and Shouyou melts into Tobio immediately, too tired to do much else.

A knock on the door barely registers with Shouyou and when Oikawa cracks it open a familiar voice asks, “is Shouyou here?”

“Which one of you did it? I just want to talk,” Oikawa growls before stepping out of the room and closing the door with a snap.

***Kuroo***

“Did what?” Tetsurou asks, staring at the guy who is standing in front of him with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face.

“Did what? What do you mean ‘did what’? Shortie Pie is having a panic attack, that’s what.”

“Oikawa just let us see him,” Tsukishima says exasperatedly.

“No, he needs rest. What did you do? I’ll find out one way or another, but it could help us calm Little Orange down,” Oikawa tells them.

Tsukishima shakes his head, but Tetsurou wants to, no, needs to help Shouyou in any way that he can. “He was eavesdropping on our conversation which was about how Tsukishima and I knew each other before I met Shouyou and how he and I had slept together and we’ve been hiding it from Shouyou because I honestly don’t know why. After I left to go to the bathroom, he told Tsukishima he heard everything and ran out the door.”

“It’s not Chibi’s fault,” Oikawa states coldly as he turns to go back in the room.

“I didn’t say it was,” Tetsurou replies defensively.

“No, you said he was eavesdropping which indicates he was being nosey when in reality you shouldn’t have had that talk when he was in the room,” Oikawa spits back, venom lacing his words, “I know Shouyou better than you and that’s not who he is as a person.”

With that, Oikawa goes back into his dorm and through the small opening of the door Tetsurou can see his soulmate laying face down on someone’s stomach, his shoulders trembling as he whimpers and for the first time Tetsurou is hit by emotions that he isn’t used to. Jealousy creeps into his chest as worry morphs to fear in his stomach followed by helplessness forming a lump in his throat. Everything was going so well, and he didn’t think it would be such a big deal about his past, but now he isn’t sure of anything at all anymore.

***Hinata***

The clutches of sleep release Shouyou sometime later and he sits up to find himself alone in Tobio’s bed. Oikawa is lounging on his own bed reading a book with his glasses perched on the end of his nose and looks up when he hears Shouyou moving around.

“Where’s Tobio?”

“Having words with your problems downstairs. Don’t look so alarmed, he was calm when he left,” Oikawa tells him reassuringly, sitting his book down before wandering over and sitting next to Shouyou. “I got the scoop on what happened, at least from their side. What about you, Shortie? What set you off?”

Shouyou fidgets with the blanket covering his legs as he talks. “I woke up to hear them talking about knowing each other and then knowing each other, but that isn’t what bothered me because that’s the past. It’s the fact that they lied to me. They’ve been pretending to not know each other every time they’re around one another and I’m there. Not to mention that I go to Tsukishima for advice about my relationship a lot and it just feels so fucked up that he’s giving me advice about his ex-whatever Kuroo is to him. That isn’t what completely shattered me though. Tsukishima told him,” Shouyou’s voice cracks as tears form again, “that I’m not mentally stable enough to understand that their history and lies aren’t a big deal. Is that true? Am I that much of a mess?”

“No,” Oikawa says firmly, “inexperience doesn’t equal mental stability.”

“I know I have anxiety and panic disorder and depression and A LOT of insecurities, but to hear that from someone I trusted and then Kuroo didn’t even defend me he just gave in like he agreed. How am I not supposed to feel this way?”

“Hey, you’re gonna work yourself up again so take a few deep breaths and let me go get you a water, okay? We’ll get this sorted out one way or the other,” Oikawa reassures, pushing Shouyou to lay down. “I’ll be back, and I’ll even bring you a snack.”

“Thank you,” Shouyou whispers meekly.

***Kuroo***

“We know, Kageyama,” Tsukishima says through gritted teeth, “we get your point.”

“Do you truly get it, Asshole?” Kageyama asks, anger turning his words to a growl. “Were you the one with a hyperventilating, sobbing Hinata clinging to you while he tried to ask questions about whether or not he was good enough? Or if he was “that much of a burden”? And wondering if he deserved friends or not? We know he is insecure and has a few mental illnesses; I even go with him to pick up his medicines every month because that alone makes him feel awful about himself. All of us, meaning you two dumbasses, should know to be honest and direct with him. That’s what he needs and expects.” Kageyama runs his fingers through his hair in frustration.

“His medicines?” Tetsurou asks, looking between the two of them; Kageyama nods and Tsukishima seems just as lost as he feels. A knock interrupts them and Kageyama opens the door since he’s the closest and let’s Oikawa in.

“I can’t be here long because I’m getting Chibi a snack and drink, but for the love of every deity that I know about, how could you?” Oikawa glares at Tsukishima and Tetsurou.

“How could they what?” Kageyama asks.

“Not only lie to Shouyou but say he’s not mentally stable enough to understand the history between the two of them and the lie they shared by not telling him. And then that one,” Oikawa points to Tetsurou, “doesn’t even defend Shouyou’s honor, he just folds under Tsukishima’s demands that he should tell Shouyou the truth.”

“I knew he was insecure and a little depressed, I’ve seen the cuts on his legs, but I didn’t know about the meds or anything else. He never told me, and he was always smiling and chatty,” Tetsurou admits to them.

“The cuts? What cuts?” Kageyama asks as Oikawa and Tsukishima look at him with shock.

“On his thighs? You haven’t seen them? He never told you?” Kuroo glances between the three of them. Oikawa turns and leaves without another word and Kageyama slides to the floor with his head in his hands.

***Hinata***

Oikawa returns with a bottle of water and some peanut butter crackers, tossing them to Shouyou who catches them. After that Oikawa rips the blanket off him and pulls the leg of his shorts up to show off the thin white scars.

“Why? No, you know what, don’t tell me. This is a mess; the entire situation is a mess. You’re going to get up and come downstairs with me so you can take your meds and we’re all going to talk everything out because we all care about you. Three of us didn’t know about your scars, two of us didn’t know about your medicine, and one of us didn’t know about your mental illnesses. We are going to clean this whole situation up and get everything running smoothly.” Oikawa pulls Shouyou out of the bed despite the horrified look he gets at his declaration. “Not a single one of us is mad or thinks any less of you. If it’s easier then you don’t have to look at us while talking or you can do what we usually do when we talk.”

“Sit back to back?”

“Mmhmm.”

Both make their way down to Shouyou’s dorm where Oikawa knocks and goes in first before coming out to get Shouyou. The first thing he sees when he walks in is Kageyama, Kuroo, and Tsukishima sitting in a half circle with their backs to him. They join the three men on the floor and Shouyou holds tightly to Oikawa’s hand like they always do so they can communicate when things become too much for Shouyou.

“Let’s start with the easy issue first,” Oikawa starts, “Tsukishima and Kuroo have known each other since high school and have slept together during that time. Shouyou, what do you have to say?”

“Not a big deal.”

“Tsukishima or Kuroo?”

“In the past and not of importance,” Kuroo adds.

“Agreeing with the other two,” Tsukishima replies.

“Not telling Shouyou such information and pretending not to know each other,” Oikawa moves on and Shouyou squeezes his hand softly which is returned with reassurance.

“Seemed unimportant and still does.” It’s Tsukishima who speaks up.

“Was unknowingly an asshole move and I’m still unsure of why I even did it,” Kuroo states.

“Tsukishima, you’re a dick,” Shouyou tells him out of annoyance rather than anger, “but I knew that from the start. And no, that isn’t acceptance of what you just said. I’m only stating it as a fact reflective of the statement.” He can see Oikawa smirking in his peripheral and he hides his face in his knees, so he doesn’t laugh at the obvious pride.

“Calling Shouyou mentally unstable,” Oikawa says as he lists off the next order of business.

“Isn’t a lie.” Tsukishima again.

“Could’ve said it in a better way,” Kageyama snaps at him.

“Not helpful, Tobio,” Oikawa chides his soulmate.

“Shouldn’t have been said at all,” Kageyama corrects.

“Shouyou,” Kuroo addresses him, “you should’ve told me.”

“I didn’t know how,” Shouyou admits, shoulders drooping as he deflates.

“Direct and honest, just the way you like it,” Kuroo informs him factually.

“Would you have still liked me? Do you still like me?”

“Yeah, I still like you just as much as before all of this happened. If I’d known, then I would’ve approached this entire relationship differently so there wouldn’t be as much miscommunication and I could’ve torn into Tsukishima for being a dick to you.”

Shouyou squeezes Oikawa’s hand tighter and looks up at him with a small smile that Oikawa returns with a wink. “Now, for the harder stuff. Shortie Pie, your soulmate and, amazingly enough, your roommate were unaware that you take medicine. Would you like to elaborate on that at all?”

“Antidepressant, antianxiety, and…” he trails off for a moment, “there is one for when I start to go into a panic attack. I hide the bottles very well.”

“Would’ve been useful information to have,” Tsukishima mumbles. At that, Shouyou lets go of Oikawa’s hand and hugs his knees tightly.

“I can see why Shouyou wouldn’t tell _you_,” Kageyama murmurs to Tsukishima.

“No fighting around the circle,” Oikawa reminds them as Tsukishima goes to retort. “How about the cuts on your legs, Chibi?”

“I’ve been doing that since high school. It helps with my emotional pain and incompetence.”

“Do you still do it?” Kageyama asks.

“I haven’t recently even though I’ve wanted to sometimes.”

“Why haven’t you?” Kuroo inquires.

“I didn’t want you to kick my ass,” Shouyou answers honestly and he can hear the quiet chuckle from his soulmate. “Instead I did some very angry art.” That statement makes Oikawa snort as he ruffles Shouyou’s hair.

“That’s a much better solution,” Kuroo adds.

“My poor pencils disagree.”

“Finally,” Oikawa cuts in, “Shouyou, what will you be doing about relationship advice?”

“Avoiding Tsukishima at all costs.”

“This is serious,” Kageyama quips.

“I’m being serious. Hopefully, I can just talk to Kuroo now, if not through letters then back to back like this,” Shouyou tells them. “If for some reason I can’t then I’ll just go to Tobio or Oikawa.”

“Why not Tsukishima?” Oikawa asks.

“I don’t trust him anymore.”

“And what about Kuroo?”

“At least he’s making an effort to work with me unlike Tsukishima who is too full of pride to try,” Shouyou explains, “so my trust in him isn’t completely ruined. I’ll admit that I’m partially at fault for this drama, I won’t deny that and I don’t want anyone to think I am denying it. This can be used as a learning experience for all of us.”

“Agreed,” Oikawa tells Shouyou, patting him on the head. “Circle adjourned.” Once Shouyou is standing, Oikawa pulls him into a hug and says, “you’re still the coolest of us all, Chibi,” and then departs.

Kageyama is next, hugging him and saying, “you’re my best dumbass,” before exiting.

Tsukishima simply walks past with a ‘I’m going to Tadashi’s’ and disappears through the door which leaves Kuroo and Shouyou alone.

“I still want to continue working on myself to become as amazing as you are,” Kuroo whispers as he stands just inches from Shouyou, “because there is no one better than you.” Shouyou finally gazes up at his soulmate who smiles softly but it falls away after a moment. “And can you try to worry the hell out of me a little less? I came back to an empty bed and a stupefied Tsukishima and I was ready to burn heaven down just to find you and make sure you were okay.”

“I will try,” Shouyou concedes, “in the meantime, I think we should talk about some stuff back to back.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can always find me on my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/TiffersTheNerdy) and [Tumblr](https://tiffthenerd01.tumblr.com).
> 
> I also run a couple of events including:
> 
> **BNHQ!! Rarest Pairs**, an event in August that gives writers and artists prompts for the month to create content for the rare rarepairs of BNHA and/or Haikyuu!!  
[Twitter (BNHQ!! Rarest Pairs)](https://twitter.com/Bnhq_rarest)  
[Tumblr (BNHQ!! Rarest Pairs Month)](https://bnhqrarest.tumblr.com/)  
[Discord (BNHQ!!)](https://discord.gg/4pWX3KT)
> 
> **ShinDeku Events**, which is ShinDeku Month in February, ShinDeku Pride in June, and a new event in September that I have yet to announce.  
[Twitter (Shin_Deku_Month](https://twitter.com/shin_deku_month)  
[Tumblr (ShinDeku Month)](https://shindekumonth.tumblr.com/)  
[Discord (Round Table of ShinDeku Weebs)](https://discord.gg/yruPUPS)
> 
> And I suggest joining [The Creator’s Corner](https://discord.gg/rrTdWy5) Discord server. It’s a budding server for content creators.


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